Perry at the Priory
In the summer of 2004 Pericles the Decoy Duck spent a month in The Priory to get over his worm and bird seed addiction.
This blog was originally set up to chronicle his experiences and the inevitable escape attempts.
However, it refuses to die.
The Characters
Pericles - Our Hero
Ron - a Lemming, Pericles's roommate
Bob - a discontented lizard
Dai - a Llama
Schrondinger - a Cat, Dai's roommate
Hermione - a Peking Duck
Thaisa - a Duck, Perry's sometime girlfriend
Doris - a Turkey, Matron at The Priory
Skippy - a dodgy Kangeroo
Sandi- a Great Dane
and
Ethel - a duckling who claims to be the fruit of Perry's loins
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Day 6
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I've not been here a week yet but already I'm missing my fix. It's terrible, I'm jonesing for bird seed real bad.At breakfast I made the mistake of saying I was going "cold turkey" - apparently we're not allowed to call it that on account of Matron.
Matron is a turkey. Word 'on the ward' is that she used to be a cock - that's a turkey "with-a-comb" - but one day she dyed her wattle blonde and started wearing an Alice band (and she doesn't wear it where you'd expect either).
We're supposed to go to her whenever we've got a problem. I asked her if she could get a crash-mat for Ron's wardrobe. But she just tells you to "pull yourself together" (which just made me constipated when I tried) so no-one bothers any more.
I don't know what her real name is but we call her Doris.
posted at 7:38 AM
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